“Before I Ever Met You”

I searched for you
in places I never expected love to live.
I dreamed of you
before I ever knew your face,
or delighted in your smile.

I kissed your lips a thousand times
before I knew their shape,
loved you
before our lives ever crossed.

Even now, I do not know
whether I will meet you in the world of flesh,
for my love has lived wrapped in a dream:
a dream that could become real
only if you chose to be visible,
only if your presence drew near.

I have heard you are going away,
to a distant land—
whether by choice or by fate,
I do not know,
but I still care.

My mind unraveled when news reached me that you would go.
Though I never touched your face,
never held you,
never learned the scent of your body,
I lost all sense of direction
when I read the words of your leaving,
as if half my heart were displaced,
cut clean into two inseparable pieces.
I cried into the night
and counted too many sleepless hours.

Still, I will search for you:
in dreams,
and, if I must, in the waking world,
until I find you,
where two hearts may merge as one.

And when I do,
I will not turn away again,
for then we will affirm
what has always been true:
that I am yours,
and you are with me.

“How I Loved You” or “As I Let You Go”

My love for you was never perfect,
but it was deep and sincere.
I knew I was not meant to fall in love with you, yet I did.
I could have chosen others to share my love with,
but I chose you because I wanted you
to feel loved,
to know care,
and to carry some trace of my life within yours.

I loved you gently,
and I loved you passionately.
I loved all of you, even what was imperfect. Though I knew we were different,
but I still chose you.
You were my choice, again and again.

Now, as I let you go, I hope you remember what we shared.
I made you my priority,
often even above myself,
my desires,
and my ambitions.
What I gave you, I gave freely,
and I will do it again and again.

I hope you find the happiness,
and the life I could not give you.
If life ever casts you aside
or tries to wrap you in shame,
I hope you find someone who will love you even more than I did,
think of you more than I could,
carry your heart more carefully than I ever managed.
I hope you he will treat you with greater gentleness and kindness than I was able to give.

I am writing this last poem to tell you how I have loved you,
to give shape to my devotion,
to name what I was willing to give:
the truth of my love, sincere and real.

I am writing this last poem to remind you how I chose you,
and where I stop,
not the end of loving you,
but the moment I choose to release you,
without saying goodbye.

I let you go, painfully, into a kinder life,
so you may know a more beautiful love
that comes after me.

May someone carry you gently.

“A Love Without Witness”

I love you in secret,
slowly,
so we may survive
the complexity of our story:
learning how to move through
a love never meant for daylight,
a love that must not speak its name in public.

I love you with caution,
as if loving you were a crime,
a hidden sin,
as if this tenderness, once exposed,
could undo our very existence.
It is a love shaped by anxiety,
formed in the quiet spaces that made us.

I love you in silence,
to protect the depth of what we share.
I love you where my heart speaks
in a language only you understand,
where only your soul
can hear its trembling sound.

Perhaps our love is real only there:
in disguise,
in distance,
in secrecy—
far from the pain it costs us,
where our souls can finally rest
in the simple thought of us.
Where the heart is allowed to feel,
but not act,
not reveal.
This is the mercy of loving you.

I love you from a distance,
because distance is preservation.
It aches us both,
yet it is how I keep you safe:
this sunlight we were never meant to touch.

You were my sunlight on bare skin.
I was the warmth that made you glow.
It is a love without witness,
distance transformed
into mutual devotion.

My new poem…

“Tears on the Moon”

Drops of tender tears,
fall silently on staring nights.
Bed sheets hold
the weight of unforgettable tears,
each one a whisper of you.

Memories that once were near
have become the enemy of the heart.
Familial places
turn into sites of alienation.
Even the smiles of joy
transform into moments of sadness,
haunting the quiet spaces
where I once felt your presence.

Yet silence seals my lips,
and words die
in the shadow of longing,
unspoken,
carried only by the tears
of the night
that fall on the moon.

I long to speak to you,
to feel your presence near,
to look at you,
but silence blocks my words
My heart lost its way.

I dream of you,
and woke up empty.
Loliness walks beside me now,
the night reminds me of pain & tears:
faithful,
uninvited,
my only companion.
But it is you I wait for.

Poetry Reading #4, from “Poems of the Heart”

“The Color of You”

Before you, there were no colors in my sky.

No story written, no reason why.

The world turned cold,

the days stood still,

I spoke in whispers,

but felt no will.

Before you, I walked without a song.

Carrying a heart that beat all wrong.

The light had left,

my dreams were few,

I was half a soul,

until you.

Then came your voice,

your tender flame,

You called my heart

and spoke my name.

You taught me how to breathe again,

To trust,

to hope,

to love the pain.

*I was inspired to write this poem after listening to the song “Avant toi” (“Before you”) by Vitaa and Slimane.

“When Trust Fades”

She enters his life not to love,
but to wound,
to misuse his heart,
to teach him the ache of regret.

He gives everything:
his loyalty,
his strength,
his sacrifice,
loving without conditions,
without limits.

Yet in return for devotion,
he receives betrayal.
In place of gratitude,
he meets only disrespect.
His kindness,
once offered as a gift,
is mistaken for weakness.

Slowly, trust fades.
Love turns cold,
not because it was ever false,
but because it was broken
in careless hands.

Now he stands, unsure
whether his heart
will ever dare to love again.